THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR

The Ben Folds Five Digest

Issue #799 - February 3, 1998



Magical Armchair Digest   Tuesday, February 3 1998   Volume 01 : Number 799



                          THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
                    The Ben Folds Five Mailing List

TO REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS MAILING LIST
   Send an e-mail message to armchair-request@maillist.il.fontys.nl with
the word 'unsubscribe' (without the quotes) in the message body. Please DO
NOT POST UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST ITSELF! If you are having
trouble, send mail to owner-armchair@maillist.il.fontys.nl and I
will try to help you. To change your address, first unsub yourself from
your old address, then subscribe using your new account.

DO NOT REPLY TO OFF-TOPIC OR INSULTING MESSAGES!!!
   So many people are complaining about how much space these useless
posts are occupying, without realizing that they are adding to the
problem by quoting or replying to these messages themselves.
   Posts with no BFF content are off topic. So are posts of a moderating
nature (that's my job). Usually I will send a gentle reminder to
those who violate these rules, but lately it just seems to go on
and on. As a result, please be aware that you may find yourself
unsubscribed without warning if you post an off-topic message.

TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:

    Rides to Seattle Show
    chicago show
    Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #796 
    A post that breaks all the rules!
    need tickets NYC show
    Sounds now in Real Audio
    The Win 95 Theme
    Anyone have Hammerstein Tix that they dont Want?????
    What Happened to the Titles?
    classes
    Don't forget your blue t-shirt
    Goodbye now.
    Emaline 
    keep up the good work, shotgun boy
    Song For The Chumps
    Smoking Frank With The Bitches

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 09:27:21 -0800
From: Susan Park <maven@jetcity.com>
Subject: Rides to Seattle Show

I'm trying to help people find rides and accomodations to Seattle.

Max Wall, in Walla Walla needs a ride. (You may have seen his post, he's 
selling 2 Seattle tix 'cause he can't get here.) If anyone's coming from that 
direction, maybe they can help out so he can still go. I'd hate to see him 
miss just because he can't get a ride! He's at: wallmr@whitman.edu

If anyone needs a place to stay, the Youth Hostile under Pike Place Market 
is awesome. I stayed there for 3 weeks when I first arrived in Seattle. It's 
full of extremely cool people of all ages from 16 (tell 'em you're 18) to 
72. It costs around $15 a night. If anyone needs a free place, there's 
always my front porch - cool, but dry. My husband and the cats won't 
mind.

If you're looking for a ride, tell me what city and I'll try to help match you 
up. There's always Greyhound and Green Tortoise (until they build the 
monorail). If you're not too far away, maybe I can help out. 

Let's help eachother out. Remember what it was like when you were 
younger or in school and didn't have a car, got left behind, or missed out.

Thanks! Susan (206) 440-9149 
(This is the phone # for the Jet City Maven)

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 11:22:36 -0600 (CST)
From: kanemj@sncac.snc.edu (Michael Kane)
Subject: chicago show

i have 1 ticket to sell for the chicago show...if interested please 
e-mail me asap!!! 

mike kane
kanemj@sncac.snc.edu

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 18:23:42 +0100
From: gregory@limestone.kosone.com (Gregory)
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #796 

>In a message dated 1/30/98 11:54:17 PM, you wrote:
>
><<why did the girl commit suicide because of listening to KATE?
>i missed that one.........
>>

<snip>this all happened in a tiny town south
>of the State of Sarcasm....<snip>

Was it Georgia?

Skawt

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 08:09:12 -0500
From: jaedonely@juno.com
Subject: A post that breaks all the rules!

heh heh heh
1) I am traveling to Sweden this summer to visit my family.  I know that
there are members on this list from Sweden and I would appreciate it if
they emailed me.  I need to know more about Sweden so that I can tell my
sister what fun things I want to do.
2) I would love it if Ben Folds Five, although they have been touring
incessantly, plays Stockholm in early July.
3) I had a dream last night that I had a tv with cable..so I watched the
Today show on MTV (it was young and hip) so BFF was on, and not to be
long winded, it involved Brick, a puzzle with mickey and goofy on a boat
speeding away, the explanation of the puzzle, and Maria Isabel from
spanish class.  Also, when BFF said goodbye, they were all on
wheelchairs.  But they werent hurt, its because theyre fun loving wacky
guys.
4) Anybody else thinking up grody sexual problems for BFF on Loveline? I
want to call and say I cant get a date...then everybodyd tell me not to
worry, youre beautiful and intelligent. That would kickass.
~Elisabeth
"Catholic school makes you pretty fucking weird"

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 14:14:21 -0500 (EST)
From: kumquat <angjc@BIOMED.MED.YALE.EDU>
Subject: need tickets NYC show

back in the armchair again...i desparately need
2 tickets to the feb 20th BFF show in NYC...
i can't believe that i waited this long to get tickets
can someone help me??????

jinky

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 98 14:30:10 -0500
From: Dan Goodspeed <goodsd@rpi.edu>
Subject: Sounds now in Real Audio

OK people,

  For those of you who wanted to hear the sound files from my BF5 
interview last May and couldn't because they were MACE compressed, you'll 
be happy to lust converted all my sound files to Real Audio.  Keep in 
mind, these files have been through a lot, so they're not exactly made of 
gold.

  You can find the interview and sounds here:
http://www.rpi.edu/~goodsd/bum/interviews/bf5.html

  catch ya's later.

      -dan
 "the punk at the piano..."
 
- ---------------------------------------+
BUM: Modern rock news, charts, reviews | 
http://www.rpi.edu/~goodsd/bum.html    | "I'm in quicksand,
                                       |  sinking in again,
goodsd@rpi.edu    pianoman76@aol.com   |  I've got concrete shoes
           (518) 399-9822              |  and I can't swim"
      http://www.rpi.edu/~goodsd/      |          -GN
- ---------------------------------------+    

 

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 12:18:56 -0700
From: uselink@juno.com (Jeremy V Davis) 
Subject: The Win 95 Theme

My BFF Win 95 theme is ready to download, though I don't know how it'll
run on anyone else's computer so all you that wanna give it a try go to
the URL in my signature and you'll find it. I'll also be adding same
splash screens and maybe some more cursors.

Later Kiddies,
                       Jer

- ----------------------<uselink@juno.com>-----------------------
"Blind man on a canyon's edge of a panoramic scene" - Ben Folds Five
"It's all technical stuff, you wouldn't understand."  - Ben Folds
- --http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/collins/35/index.html--

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 15:27:36 EST
From: Phishrman1@aol.com
Subject: Anyone have Hammerstein Tix that they dont Want?????

My friends were not able to getr tix to hammerstein show....anyone have
extras???? Im willing to pay up to $30 for each....PLEASE HELP A DESPERATE
GUY......i could even throw in some bootlegs!!!!!

~jared
http://members.aol.com/phishrman1/BenFolds5.html

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 15:31:47 -0500
From: "idaho" <idaho@appstate.campus.mci.net>
Subject: What Happened to the Titles?

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

- ------=_NextPart_000_0028_01BD2FEF.ACB9F840
Content-Type: text/plain;
	charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

The last few issues of the Armchair have had no titles at the beginning =
of the issue after the administrative comments from Frank.  These have =
gotta come back.  They are the only thing that allows me to browse the =
Chair quickly and filter out all of the personal comments and old =
threads that I don't want to read about.  PLEASE BRING THEM BACK

blb

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 16:00:56 -0500
From: "tribefan" <tribefan@nlcomm.com>
Subject: classes

well, i'm a walter, i guess. i'm not at all ashamed! i got into them before
the brick explosion and i know lotsa the words to most of the songs. i don't
have imports and stuff, but i know a lot and love everything about the band!
sidenote:i love the s/t!!!! yay! luv, leslie

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 16:17:14 -0500
From: Jessica Brandt <jbrandt@kent.edu>
Subject: Don't forget your blue t-shirt

Hey all you Uncle Plastic Bitches out there (whoo-hoo!! we rule!) You know
how everyone is kinda complaining about how there is newfound popularity?
well just remember one thing:
if you were into Ben Folds Five from the beginning, and went to a show on
their first 1 or 2 tours (i mean waay back before WEAEA) You probably have
THE COOLEST BFF shirt out there. I'm not talking about the blue longsleeve,
i'm talking about the awesome navy blue BFF shirt with the piano on the
front and "I was never col in school...." on the back. This shirt isn't
availible at shows and it's only limitedly availible in MEDIUM through the
website. YOU ARE SPECIAL!
so anyway, sit in your little room and listen to your import japanese s/t
album and snicker away at those "
just thought i'd brighten someone's day.
jess

"I bet you never knew but now you know-
	I'm the undisputed king of this disco"
		--DJ Kool

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 15:16:33 -0600
From: "Johnson, Sarah Ann" <sarah.a.johnson@vanderbilt.edu>
Subject: Goodbye now.

Hey everyone! I just don't have time to be as devoted to the Armchair 
as I would like to be. I would love to stay in touch with any fans from 
the Nashville area (I know you're out there-someone else had to buy NBP 
for it to sell out!). Please e-mail me privately. And to my boy 
Chris-thanks for the horoscope! 

It only took me one look to understand...
Sarah
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
Johnson, Sarah Ann
Vanderbilt University
Email: sarah.a.johnson@Vanderbilt.Edu

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 16:36:02 -0500
From: beckyc@bit-net.com (Becky Correa)
Subject: Emaline 

        If anyone cares I'd be an Emaline!! Taht's fine with me becasue
that's a kick ass song! THatn agian so is EVERY BFF song!!

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 16:40:07 -0500
From: vito <goatman1@geocities.com>
Subject: keep up the good work, shotgun boy

<< If you post anything about your dreams, I'll find you and when I find you
I'm
 going to shit on your doorstep..dream about that>>

<<P.S. the only shiting you will be doing on my doorstep is when my shotgun
goes
off and blows the shit out of your head, dream about that.>>

haha. thats so funny.  personaly, id like to see more of this.  this is the
stuff that gets pissed off fans like me reading the MA again.  keep it up!

vito

BBB  EEEE N   N     FFFF  OO  L    DD    SS      FFFF I V     V EEEE
B  B E    NN  N     F    O  O L    D D  S        F    I V     V E
BBB  EEE  N N N     FFF  O  O L    D D   S       FFF  I  V   V  EEE
B  B E    N  NN     F    O  O L    D D    S      F    I   V V   E
BBB  EEEE N   N     F   goATman1@geOCitiES.com   F    I    V    EEEE
- ----- http://www.Geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/7544/bf5.html -----

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 2 Feb 1998 16:23:03 -0600
From: quinnt@scc.net
Subject: Song For The Chumps

** SONG FOR THE CHUMPS **

(sung to the tune of "Battle of Who Could Care Less".
 Or, if you prefer, "Love Theme From The Titanic".)

doooo, doooo, doooo (etc.)

(clear throat here if you are Celine Dion)

"Do you not read your mail no more?
Must I still post 'unsubscribe'?
What the hell's this address for?"

"I gotta say this list sure sucks
It's said most every day
But I just had to throw in my two bucks"

    - chorus -
  Will you never rest
  Fighting the battle of who comprehends less
  Utter moronicness
  Sometimes I wish you'd go...
  Away

doooo, doooo, doooo (etc.)

"I hope our boys don't get too big.
I hope their records bomb
So I can get up close at every gig"

"The new Ben rumor?  Gay, of course.
I thought it up last night
So tell your friends you heard it from the source"

    - chorus -
  Do you never rest
  Fighting the battle for King Of Sleaziness
  Unheard of crapulence
  Thanks for smelling up the 'Chair!
      (who goes there?)

Doooo doooo
Doo doo doo doo doo it's doo-doo
Doooo doooo
Doo doo doo doo doo yes doo-doo

I'vvvvvvvve gottttttttt
This great idea
Why don't we pitch it to, um, Frank "LeFunky" Maynard
A fine new armchair that anyone can read but
To post requires at least a...
Wee effort  at   mak - ing    s o m e     s e  n       
                                                   s
Oh well, maybe not
let's try again                                        
                                                     e
I checked the archive, now I'm sure
It's been some time since you OD'ed
I see how wack you always were

(Ms. Dion:  pause here for full emotional effect)
    
    - chorus -
  You never rest
  Fighting to make your Idiotsburg Address
  "Four score and..." (flatulence)
  You're on heroin...confess!


    ~ Revisionist lyrics by me (El L. a/k/a El Vin Bishop)
                 and Matt Jeans a/k/a Jeanius ~








Hey, come on.  Stop crying.  Hurt feelings will not be tolerated.  Stop crying now or we'll have to call in the flog team.  

Anyway, as has been pointed out, people who whine about the lameness of the Armchair usually just make it lamer.  So this post is strictly for meditational purposes.  Actually - maybe you've heard this - neurobiological researchers are all abuzz about a n

ew theory which proposes that human beings have always had a deep, primal urge to post rude, brain-free icky-poo on the internet.  Of course, they couldn't act upon this urge until recently when the internet came into being, and so, the theory goes, you'v

e got many centuries of pent-up subconcious desire all at once being unleashed upon mailing lists, chat rooms, etc.  And supposedly this should all start to subside in a year or two.  So maybe all this Armchair crap is just a phase, and even a logical one

 at that.  Happy to add to the pile.

No offense to anyone actually wrestling with drug problems. 

Although I notice, you do seem a bit fuzzy, so to speak.


"There's a joy factor in the music of someone like Stevie Wonder; it's not possible to put more joy into a song than that man does.  And you miss out on such an important part of what music can do by turning your back on that."  -Ben Folds in Q magazine, 

July '96

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 17:42:33 -0500
From: Richard Challen <rchallen@clemson.campus.mci.net>
Subject: Smoking Frank With The Bitches

a) Is the live version of "Smoke" that comes with the new CMJ dated
7/17/97 (i.e. the KCRW radio version)? 'Cuz if it is, that's the one
that's also on the import "Brick" singles. And if it isn't, then the
Five have started to pull a Radiohead. (Pulling a Radiohead: Putting
different live versions of the SAME song on multiple compilations,
rather than choosing DIFFERENT songs from the group's fine and varied
catalog. In reference to the fact that every compilation with a live
Radiohead song always has "Fake Plastic Trees.") 

b) Actually, Frank IS complaining. Read the very beginning of your
Armchair.

- --Whipper rICH (but almost a Bitch!!)



Visit The RICH Homepage and check out the brand-new CD, 
LIFE/DEATH... 15 songs of romance and retribution... 
Available independently from Desperate Man Records.
         http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Stage/9035

------------------------------

End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #799
**************************************


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