THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
The Ben Folds Five Digest
Issue #1045 - June 6, 1998
Magical Armchair Digest Saturday, June 6 1998 Volume 01 : Number 1045
THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
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at your school will be one angry dwarf...
TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:
is this guy serious????
You too can listen to Rhapsody in Blue
filter yrselves!
Whoooops.
A Michael Jackson Tee-Hee, Please, Maestro!
New York Area Fans: Win Tickets To See BFF At Hard Rock Live
The Cat is OUTTA the Bag...
french fries and pepper
Cleveland, Pine Knob.. and everything inbetween
for all the spangly people!
True Fan.
LONDON GIG
Trade with me
DMB/Beck/BF5 @ Giant's Stadium
Read me! Read me now!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 23:24:40 +1000
From: "Grover" <grover@powerup.com.au>
Subject: is this guy serious????
<<What the hell is a wanker? Is that one of those, "you have to be one to
know one" deals? Brad seems to have a great understanding of the term,
so maybe he will enlighten us all as to what Webster seems to have omitted
from his latest edition. Is there a club and stuff? Man, maybe I want to be
a
wanker too. Markus always gets privy to all the good stuff before the rest
of
us. Damn that Markus. Damn him.>>
If I'm missing the sarcasm, sorry.
if not, here:
wanking = masturbating
have a nice day
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 11:01:38 EDT
From: Rosejmort@aol.com
Subject: You too can listen to Rhapsody in Blue
Since the issue of Philosophy/Rhapsody in Blue has been resurrected, I thought
I would post a link to a page where you can actually listen to the riff in
question.
http://www.ionet.net/~jcj/gershwin/gershsnd.html
Click on Rhapsody in Blue, the 124kb version. The whole thing is about 15
minutes long,and the "Philosophy"/airline commercial part is in the last
eighth of the piece.
Thought you might appreciate it, because I had long heard about the similarity
but never had a chance to listen to the actual song it is being compared to.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 08:11:59 PDT
From: "Michael Della Bitta" <neptunelizard@hotmail.com>
Subject: filter yrselves!
hello, all!
i'm going to keep this really short so as to not further the cause i'm
writing against. it's this: before you post, consider that there are
thousands of people on this list that (ostensibly anyway) signed on to
hear factual information and reasoned opinions on the topic of this band
that they all love. they did NOT sign on to read the after-effects of
someone using their computer as a means to electronically stimulate
their own pleasure center. so anytime you post something off topic,
THOUSANDS of people are wasting their time reading it. so if your post
contains lots of sentances where the subject noun is yrself, and the
direct object doesn't have anything to do with the band, fight the waste
of human energy and hit the cancel button on yr mailer.
lets have more posts like that one from Anne, i really enjoyed that.
even though it's a book, not a hat. but then again, if ben walked up and
told me that the sun was a baked potato that someone left in the
microwave for too long, and i didn't know any different, i'd nod my
head. i've never met the band in the social sense, i met robert because
i backed up in front of a show and didn't look where i was going and
slammed him into their tourbus. oops. talk about an out-of-place mosh
pit..
anyway, let's have a little more of that peace and equality of
membership that the net's supposed to bring. otherwise, if you really
think that you're so smart, here's a challenge: tell me either why
you're subjective experiences re. this band are so much more valid than
mine, or tell me something so mind-blowingly important about the band
that totally proves that you're a superior fan. i bet you can't.
michael
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 11:21:10 -0700
From: Thomas Andrews <iceberg@nycap.rr.com>
Subject: Whoooops.
I don't want to clutter up the list any further; I just wanted to deeply
apologise for posting 80 subscribe requests to the list. You see, I
changed my address and I completely forgot all about addressing it to
"armchair-request" as opposed to just "armchair". Sorrreeee.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 08:33:09 -0700
From: "Kamp, Marcus S" <Marcus.Kamp@PSS.Boeing.com>
Subject: A Michael Jackson Tee-Hee, Please, Maestro!
I've not seen so much overreacting since the nation looked shocked when
OJ got away w/it! People, people, people, listen to your own GOOD
advice & ignore us-WE WILL GO AWAY, and quite happily so! (Except for
you BRAD-your inane little attempts @ outsmarting us are just too, too
funny. In the words Rob Base...Keep it comin', keep it comin'!)
Anyway, I got the word (from Sweet Annie Blue Eyes-although they're not
so blue & she's not so sweet) that the Boyz will not be touring the US
after Europa, but will be headin' directly into the sedate seclusion of
the studio, thus 1ce again shunning the Greater (than the Midwest!)
Northwest. Oh, well, they'll be back. (& to a warmer reception than
some of us have received here on this apparently fantastic haven of
peace & love-what the hell did I miss?!?!?! That's OK, though, your
childish little whining is too damn rewarding!)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 11:42:29 -0400 (EDT)
From: Frank Maynard <maynard@mail.oeonline.com>
Subject: New York Area Fans: Win Tickets To See BFF At Hard Rock Live
Sony Music is giving away a limited number of tickets to see a live taping
of "Hard Rock Live" featuring Ben Folds Five at Sony Music Studios in
Manhattan on Friday, June 12th. If you live in, or will be in, the New
York area and would like to enter, call Tony Carroll or Noel Gonzalez at
(212) 833-4268 anytime. If you get an answering machine, clearly leave
your name and phone number. Tickets will be mailed to the winners. Please
only call if you will be able to attend the taping, which starts at
6:30PM on Friday, June 12th.
-fjm
Down by Rosemary and Cameron she hands out the Bhagavad Gita
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 11:10:57 -0600
From: "Erik C. Lyons" <EPA8820@epa.state.il.us>
Subject: The Cat is OUTTA the Bag...
Damn you.
You found us out. Our ****secret**** club for the smarter, more intelligent
Ben Folds Five fans. You know, the *real* fans....
Time-out for sarcasm break...
Seriously. If those of you who have been slamming us Fjords for coming
back to post to the MA(mostly acariasis) would look back, we came back
with a thunder, but we were not mean about it. We used to post like we do
now ALL THE TIME. We generally like to talk about life from a non-serious
view. We realize this is a Ben Folds Five list. We always try to inject some
Bentent. But if we go on a tangent, please, please, don't think we do so
because we think we are better than anyone (even though we are...joke,
joke. Put the flaming spears down).
Having said that, I will clarify for you what someone has said about the
Rockford Files (RF). (Note to Frank: I only include this to defend the
integrity of the RF list.)
The RF began because of there were MANY of us who were interested in a
maillist which allowed us to be cute, sarcastic, sadistic, or whatever we felt
like being on any particular day WITHOUT having to read a post the next
day telling us to "shut up" "stick to BFF topics" "no one cares" or the usual
hodge-podge of insults. I never wanted to take away from the MA in any
way which is why I never told anybody about it. BUT, it has been on my
webpage since December '97. Word of mouth has also brought people to
the "FOLD." We were mentioned in the webcast from Chicago on jamTV in
February, which, incidently, was the location of the first conBENtion. You
see, we are people who LIKE each other, respect each other, and because
of that, have no problem communicating with one another. In other words,
we left because it was too much trouble to weed though the insults in the
MA. The MA is not all bad. It has never been all bad.
So anyhow, enough babble. We are really good and nice people. We like
to jab at each other in a good way. We have fun. And we will all eventually
go back to where we came because logic dictates that with over 1000
people on a maillist, there is bound to be a few people who can't
understand what we write is meant to be humorous and non-threatening. I
think we all just wanted to take one more stab at being fun and playful with
all of you and hopefully make some new friends because, if you use the 'ole
noggin, you will see that we all met through the MA, which brings me back
to my previous point: The MA is not all bad.
We didn't start the fire.
But, since I am not gone yet, I still have some more fun to add.
Well, maybe not. You guys are the ones having all the fun knocking us
down (but we get up again).
Bye.
Erik.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 12:19:22 EDT
From: PhairTwo@aol.com
Subject: french fries and pepper
hey, i wanted to post just because i haven't posted for while and i thought
that i would. so...first off, i'd like to start a bootleg collection. i have
tried many, many times before, even going so far as to try to steal them. in
fact, i once stole the car of a MA member simply because he had so many boots
in it, but i later crashed the car into the ocean, and alas, the tapes were
lost forever. so if anyone can help me on my quest (that of getting some live
stuff), please e-mail me.
one more thing before i go back into the shadows, never to be seen until i
overcome my stage fright again....as we discuss the many interpretations of
different songs, i recall one fine day, long long ago (as i recall it was a
bit humid that day...that's the day that bob from the feed store came by in
his big old pick-up truck and told me the news of good old joe's leg...what a
sad little man) when my dear long-lost friend nick offered his view of the
song we like to call OAD. according to this strapping young lad, the song is
about the premier of a new danny devito movie. unfortunately, the movie was
not good, thus danny becomes "one angry dwarf" and the audience of stars
doesn't laugh, becoming "200 solemn faces." what wit that guy has. i miss him
terribly.
but anyway, i'm done now. talk to you crazy cats later.
- -bess (can't wait for springer on the 31st)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 14:06:21 EDT
From: FunShnBear@aol.com
Subject: Cleveland, Pine Knob.. and everything inbetween
To the MA -
Returned a couple of days ago.. and I'm dissapointed in a way. I saw Ben Folds
Five for the 16th, and 17th show.. and I had an cold empty feeling in my gut.
They were both pretty mediocre sets, and seeing them before Beck made me
realize how if they aren't doing improv, and they're just playing their songs
right off the album, they aren't anything that spectacular. I think this was
the deciding factor that they really DO need to go and record some new
material.
The crowds are ruder, drunker.. (wait, someone can be more drunk that SANDI?!)
and they just don't appreciate the music anymore. (Well.. at least at big
ampitheater shows) Phillip really did brighten up my day though, it was nice
being the only 3 people standing up in the pavillion.
And the oldies showing up as newbies..although I'm thrilled to see a few of
you, I could really do without some of you. Oh well.. I'll leave my comments
to myself, but there are 2 people that I'm REALLY excited about seeing.
Anne - You are my hero..well.. most of the time. And yes, I to think that Xena
IS a good show. Here in KC we have Buffy, Dawson's, and Xena all on the same
night. Maybe you like it better spread out throughout the week. One question
though.. I was watching the gabrielle show where she's going through all those
flashbacks.. and what was up with the musical? Is it going to broadway? Heh.
Scott - You rock my world! Of course you already knew that.
Oh.. and are you guys bringing Sandi back?
Yeah, it was long.. sue me
- - Katie
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 18:44:15
From: mikgle@globalnet.co.uk
Subject: for all the spangly people!
As the self-appointed ambassador of Britain, (seeing that Geri has left the
Spice Girls now....), I would like to welcome back all da Old-Skool
Chairaz. Hope you at least remember me even though i pale in comparison to
your fantastic-ness.
I should technically hate you for thinking you're so grate... but... you
are. I'm reading this Armchair for entertainment as well as info (hey,
infotainment, new concept up there with Edutainment) and the only
entertainment recently has been provided by the attitudes of *some* people
here...
Also, the befefefef thing has been done before... Brits will know what i'm
referring to... Boutros Boutros Ghali!
Bentent: ok, i'm worried:
>Did I miss something? "Dick Holster" has no lyrics....
What are you listening to? halfway through my version of Dick Holster, Ben
begins to read extracts from the Bhagavad Gita (the hat) and then sings
something like "something something crack is grate something something i am
gay" - can't quite make out the lyrics....
Oh and on TFI they're playing "Whoops now" by Janet Jackson, and my mate
(the one who thinks Fanny Packs says "shit jazz cool" and i haven't the
heart to tell her otherwise) reckons Where's Summer B sounds like it!!! nooo!!
you've been a wonderful audience...
Anne and Eric, i love you. Can i join your club now?
@nn@
~certain shades of limelight can wreck a girl's complexion~ Holly GoLightly
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 15:25:43 -0400
From: RusBF5@webtv.net (Rusty Weiss)
Subject: True Fan.
Could somebody please help me? I need to know the exact definition of a
"true" Ben Fold's Five fan, and how one can go about joining this elite
and exclusive club.
Also, since I will be heading to the SPAC show, I need to know what is
permissable at such a concert. My limits must be set by those who are
superior to a lowly ol' soul like me.
Thank you for your help, and I apologize profusely if I have stepped out
of line. I humbly stand, enveloped in your magnificent shadow, as I
shall never compare to some of you who truly, truly rank as BF5's
biggest (and best) fans.
Later,
Rusty
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 15:33:08 -0400 (EDT)
From: Kelly Alexander <kja4363@garnet.acns.fsu.edu>
Subject: LONDON GIG
to everyone (luke, anthony et al.) who was so graciously making plans to
meet me either before the show on june 29 or inside the club, i am very
very sorry but i can't make it--my job wouldn't let me take the time off
to go on vacation over in england.
but hte upside is, for anyone who needs tickets to the show, i do have one
that could possibnly be transfered from me to you (i used mey credit card
to buy it and since i'm overseas they didn't want to bother sending it to
me so i'm on this 'will call' list), if we could work something out with
the londond ticketmaster office....
thanks,
kelly
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 15:34:11 EDT
From: Emaline555@aol.com
Subject: Trade with me
Hey all,
I'm looking to trade with someone. I desperately need the Where's Summer B.?
CD single (with Emaline and Tom and Mary)!! Please help me out here. I'm
willing to trade you a bootleg tape of your choice (from my small but mighty
collection) along with a Brick CD single which contains a live version of
Smoke and Song for the Dumped in Japanese (very cool). If you are interested,
please email me!! If you don't like my offer, we can adjust it or something.
Email me! Thanks a lot.
Thanks,
Emily
Emaline555@aol.com
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 16:16:38 EDT
From: Roxygrrrl1@aol.com
Subject: DMB/Beck/BF5 @ Giant's Stadium
Hey kids ~
Long time no post, but I'm sure you don't remember me. If anyone's taping the
DMB show at Giant's Stadium, please let me know. I am a big fan of DMB, Beck,
and (of course) Ben Folds Five, so I would LOVE to know what I'm missing -
really, I would.
Can't wait to see Rob & Darren on Springer. Really - I'm sure it'll be great.
And if you would like an interpretation of the lyrics to "Dick Holster", e-
mail me privately. After many months of careful analyzation, I think I've
finally got it!
The K-Rock Dysfunctional Family Picnic was alright. BF5 got no respect. It was
really upsetting. When "Brick" started up, the lighters came out and attention
was finally paid! SFTD absolutely kicked, as I knew it would. Okay, that's
enough for now ~
Fara
Roxygrrrl1@aol.com
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 16:31:44 EDT
From: Zyah@aol.com
Subject: Read me! Read me now!
jason--
that sucks what they did to your yearbook quote! good idea though :)
NBFFC: hey, this is sad...everyone always makes fun of 3eb as being a trend
and not a respectable band...i know you'll still say it, and I don't care, but
just because all those girls like Stephan Jenkins doesn't mean they don't make
good music! Really, they do, seriously. Hey, now I bet all of you non-3eb
fans (most of you, I assume) think a little less of me...But guess what, I
don't care! I'll like what I want. I was just explaining my reasoning.
Also, if this isn't already a rule, if you have something non-bff-related, put
"NBBFFC" in front of it so people can skip it if they want...
*I am watching the MTV Movie Awards...They're doing a piece on Clint Howard,
and they're playing Underground! And my sister's behind me singing
Underground....Oh, now she's on Imitation.. :) Also, on an MTV commercial
(on MTV), they're showing half-second clips of bands/artists...guess who i
just saw fly by the screen!
Lauren
------------------------------
End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1045
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