THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
The Ben Folds Five Digest
Issue #1047 - June 7, 1998
Magical Armchair Digest Sunday, June 7 1998 Volume 01 : Number 1047
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TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:
springer show
Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1043
Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1044
Rockford Files
seniority,agism,homophobia,and rodney king
Culture shock awarness 101
You are ALL getting on my nerves
God damn I wanna rock...
Darien Center Tix
Fjordians SUCK
Re: Hindu Hats: the cat's outta the bagavaad!
Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1045
get a grip!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 20:21:42 EDT
From: FHudetz@aol.com
Subject: springer show
In a message dated 98-06-05 20:11:56 EDT, you write:
<< Can't wait to see Robert on Springer. I'm not giving away too much by
revealing what he told me the other day. He's going to be surprising an
old friend by telling them he always had a crush on them. I don't think
Elizabeth will be too happy to find out it's Darren, though! Yes, from
the very moment they were DJing at the gay discotheque...but Ben pushed
his way in and offered them crack so Robert left it unpursued. He can't
live a lie anymore, though, and is slowly revealing more about himself,
starting with the baby step of talking about his beloved car in RS. There
should be some rockin' fights, so set your VCRs! >>
Okay, you "Filers" have proved how creative you are. Hmmm...let's post the
same thing three days in a row, and have it be our own little joke!! Would'nt
be funny if some people actually believed it!! Seriously, you Fjodians are all
pathetic twenty-somethings. Christ, aren't some of you 25,26,27? Get a
fucking life!! I hope when i am in my mid-twenties i'm not writing to some
little group, oops, i mean "family". These people are like that small clique
or circle in high school that hung out together and thought they were cooler
than everone else, even though deep inside they knew they weren't. Oh well..
MA(Major Asshole)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 20:25:18 EDT
From: FHudetz@aol.com
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1043
In a message dated 98-06-05 20:11:56 EDT, you write:
<< Lauren may be a self proclaimed "super bitch" (although I find her
sassiness refreshing) but she's also dead on abotu a lot of you not
knowing the roots of music. Instead of putting Matchbox 20 into your CD
player (*shudder*) why not make real use of your time and listen to some
Frank Sinatra, Chuck Berry and good old Chetty Baker >>
If people want to listen to Matchbox 20, then listen to fucking Matchbox 20.
Don't tell people it's bad or good. Nobody cares what you think. Let them
enjoy listening to whatever they want to listen to. Just shut the fuck up
with your opinions about "real music", except Frank Sinatra--a dumb ginzo who
didn't play or write anything.
RF(Redundant Fuck)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 20:30:51 EDT
From: FHudetz@aol.com
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1044
In a message dated 98-06-05 20:14:14 EDT, you write:
<< I don't know what to do anymore!!!!!! I've lost this list. Please help us
Frank!!!!!!!! There are good people on this list!!!!! But I'm afraid the
Filers SUCK MY BUTT.
>>
I think everybody on the MA should start posting what they believe the meaning
of brick is on the Rokford Files. Wouldn't those people love that?
MA
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 21:11:09 -0400
From: Sean Kiely <seank@CYBERNEX.NET>
Subject: Rockford Files
Well, I'll keep this short, I know my attention span doesn't last much
more than 5 lines. There's one. How 'bout we all throw a curveball and
not respond to the recent prank we've all been taken in by. It's not
worth the effort of retaliation! Maturity and self-control are the best
ways keep the merry pranksters at bay. Plus, who really cares that they
tricked us? No harm done, maybe a few hurt egos, that's all. Blah.
sean
"Bein' awake never felt like this before"
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 18:37:01 PDT
From: "Chandra Hicks" <chanfifteen@hotmail.com>
Subject: seniority,agism,homophobia,and rodney king
>My "Best Imitation" of one of these people:
>"Hi I am awesome cause I was on the list forever. And I hate when
people clog
>the armchair with crap but hey im doing it now!" Am I seeing some
>hypocracy??!?!?
>
>I dont mean to be rude or anything, but this is ridiculous. I am just
as big
>a ben-fan as y'all are. And, i probably would have been on the armchair
for
>the past 2.5 years had I had an online service. But this so isn't the
point.
>
> But I
>have to object to FHudetz@aol.com usage of "little half-fag." Now,
part of me
>hopes to god that was said with the intent of being sarcastic, and that
>FHudetz doesn't really call people names like that. But unfortunately,
there
>are enough rude and ignorant people in the world who really do see the
world
>through homophobic glasses.
> 1. Stop complaining about people at concerts moshing or crowd
surfing.
>Anyone that does that is to stupid to be on the list so you don't need
to tell
>people that aren't here to stop. And if anyone here is stupid enough
to do
>that, well then this isn't the list I thought it was...
>
> 3. If you are putting quotes in a year book and care about what other
people
>from your HS think you have some big problems.
>
> 6. Your requests for tolerance will no longer be tolerated.
> 7. I feel privileged to be a part of the home coming of all the old
MA
>members. This will be up there with the time I took 5,000 acid hits in
my
>right eye and talked to god.
> I don't have anything else to comment on now so I will do all the
promos and
>stop taking up space.
>
>Will the real authority on hardcore fans, tolerance, lyrics, and BFF
please
>stand up and be noticed? This is all bullcrap. Everyone seems to have
"my
>$.02" or "IMHO" or whatever the hell. "Can't YOU all just get along?"
"Why
>don't YOU all just shut up?" "Why do YOU all post that stuff?"
>
>Seems like there's too many chiefs and not enough Indians (to be
>politically incorrect).
>
>If you post something flammable, expect to get flamed.
>
>Geez, if any more of you GAGs or grand-attitude-guys ("I've been on the
>Armchair before but left because I'm too fucking intelligent for this
>shit") come crawlin' back to mama... well, I just don't know what to
>think... my oh my. Yeah, it's true... in my post yesterday I said
>"welcome back". But that was then. Now I'm not so sure I wasn't a
>little hasty w/that welcome back stuff. If I read one more, grade A
>bullshit post from the over-inflated egos of the pseudo
>"creme-de-la-creme" gang you won't have to put up w/me on the list
>because I will have gagged to death.
>
>Here's a thought for the GAGs... take a hint from Ben Folds. Remember
>when he throws the stool at the piano -- as he did so masterfully :) at
>the Nashville River Stages performance? My interpretation of the stool
>toss is this... don't take things or yourself too seriously -- in this
>case a material thing that just happens to make music. Life should be
a
>kick. My advice: learn from Ben. And as Aaron said check your
>ego/attitude at the door... you know, the door that leads to the room
>with the Magical Armchair... I believe you said you'd been there
>before. Just curious, did you ever get to sit in the chair or were you
>too busy attitudinizing? (I'll save you the time of looking it up in
>your Funk & Wag... it means to assume an affected attitude/posture).
i agree with all of you, seniority does not equal superiority, youth
does not make you annoying at concerts, if youcall someone a name
(i.e.little half-fag) then you are showing disrespect to another human
or a group of humans, so in turn you shouldn't expect to get respect
from other people, and in the words of the over exposed by the media,
almost cliche words of rodney king, "can't we all just get along"
i don't bow down to those who ridicule others, and i don't expect those
who are "elder" to bow down to me.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me,
and all this fighting is tearing us apart, this isn't even remotely the
bff armchair that i remember.
oh yeah, and to all you "seniors" that seem to think you have the right
of way, and reminesce about the "deep philosophical conversations" you
used to have. yeah i've heard a couple of you whining. you may not
think i have but i do.
so, maybe you don't realize that past digests are posted on the
internet, i went and read a couple and what do i hear:
"bff is sooo cool, i went to the show and the boys were so great, i love
ben folds five, what's everyone elses favorite song?"
so deep and philosophical, i've been trying to uncover the metaphor that
has been deeply rooted in this seemingly shallow message.
(extreme mothers of sarcasm)
so why can't we all stop bitching, it just leads to more bitching (like
the major freak-ass bitching that i'm doing now, cause i know some of
you are dying to call me on it), so let's let it all end,
this was almost as bad as the debate about "brickheads" and "youth
destroying our concerts"
at bff rocks is more sane than irate ramblings about how the armchair
hath wronged you.
chandra, feel free to send me your angry comments or your supportive
ones,and to all out there who agree, you are the truth. and i believe
you.
______________________________________________________
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 05 Jun 1998 21:42:06 -0400
From: Jessica Brandt <jbrandt@kent.edu>
Subject: Culture shock awarness 101
<<do the words:tripping the live fantastic
appear in a BF5 song???Is anyone aware this is a title of a Paul Mc
Cartney album?????Am I going crazy????
Who knows?Speak or forever hold your peace>>
"Slammin' the pit fantastic" is the line, the mccartney title is a play on
the phrase "Tripping the LIGHT fantastic" which means dancing. In Procol
harum's "Whiter shade of pale" they say "tripped the light fandango" which
is a drugged up misuse of the phrase and an INCREDIBLE song, btw.
****************************************************************
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--Tape Trading- Way Cool Links- Literary Madness--
*****************************************************************
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 21:48:47 EDT
From: YourPalCM@aol.com
Subject: You are ALL getting on my nerves
Quite frankly, you are ALL getting on my nerves - the newbies, the old-bies,
the Brickheads, the teens, the elders, the original guys who are now back and
the ones who just got here. If someone gets on your nerves, just ignore them.
I'm getting tired of filtering through e-mail after e-mail of people just
bickering and picking fights. I'm on three other band lists and the only time
anyone posts on the other lists is if they have something constructive or
interesting to say. Will everyone please grow up. Please? It's now of no
surprise to me that going to a Ben Folds Five concert can be nearly unbearable
because of the audience. Almost all of you are idiots. (And, my usual
disclaimer, for those of you normal non-dysfunctional people to who this does
not apply, I apologize. This was not directed at everyone.)
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 22:17:04 EDT
From: ETS83@aol.com
Subject: God damn I wanna rock...
So now the lines are being drawn, some are ready for war that may not happen,
some are from Switzerland and don't really care, and others got more than
brown noses, their entire face is brown/dark green. But none of this matters
until I find out who all the pretty people are. Are the RFer's the pretty
people or are the MAer's. Who gets to decide??? Is it a good thing or a bad
thing to be a pretty person??? Who even cares??? What am I doing here and why
am I in this hand basket??? Why does it seem like some people are praising
Anne so much??? Is anyone even reading this???
It was fun while it lasted for a whole 3 days but now it is geting old. You
little assault worked, you are now total asses in my book, and I will refuse
to take anything you say with a grain of salt, perhaps with sugar, nicotene,
or crack, but not with salt.
All you Block Heads(RFer's) weren't there from the begining, you were there
from the prologue, get it strait.
So now there are brick heads, air heads, and now block heads. 2 of those
names are copyright infringements so you will have to change them to something
else, how about oxygen heads and large cube heads?
Remember that nothing found in nature goes "pwang" except for my steel trap
of a mind clamping down on your ass (how that for self praise???) I will go
for now, but I will be back tomorrow with another wonderful post about nothing
really important, just like everyone else.
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 22:46:01 EDT
From: BenDarRob@aol.com
Subject: Darien Center Tix
Hey everyone! I have two extra tickets to the June 9th show at Darien Center,
NY.
Anyone interested please e-mail (I won't be able to get back to you until
Monday though....)
Daniela
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 22:51:49 EDT
From: BlueJellow@aol.com
Subject: Fjordians SUCK
In a message dated 98-06-05 20:39:38 EDT, you write:
<< THERE IS NO 31ST OF JUNE. >>
That is exactly why THEY think they are so funny. I really like Courtney,
Erik, Eric, Ginger, and Anne. I remember when they were on here, and I read
their posts and was entertained. But they went off and made themselves their
own list that was peaceful, and everyone was content.
My problem with it is that they left so WE wouldn't bother them, but now they
are ruining MY list. The would be pissed off if WE ruined the Rockford Files.
I'm afraid the only good one is Eric. I gotta love the guy.
Why do they want to ruin ours with false rumors and empty sarcasm? It's
childish
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 22:54:57 EDT
From: Debra1495@aol.com
Subject: Re: Hindu Hats: the cat's outta the bagavaad!
Hey Everyone. Long time no post. I never left, so don't bother welcoming me
back. I send out many warm greetings to the returning Chairers. I love you
over there, and its great to see you here again!
The cat's outta the bagavaad! Yes, the true fans, the RF's, have a secret
society based solely on our Ghitas. Ben told us long ago, that to be a true
fan, he had to put us through the sacred initiation process, in which we would
earn our hindu hats and thus belong forever. He said that without a doubt, we
would be the only ones to be true fans, or "Fjords".
The rituals are strenuous, tedious, and yes, sometimes painful. (Sandi,
Emily, and Calvin can back me up on this.) But that which does not kill us
only makes us stronger. For further information, feel free to contact The FL
of the RF. If persuaded properly, he could make the necessary arrangements.
Oh, yes, I forgot: Blah blah blah brickheads blah blah. Moshing blah blah
blah blah. Blah blah blah Teeneybopper blah blah. Blah blah phone ringing in
SLNIT blah blah. Blah blah blah biggest fan blah blah. Blah blah blah
sellouts.
Love you all, Chairers and Filers!
Deb
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 23:01:20 EDT
From: BlueJellow@aol.com
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1045
In a message dated 98-06-05 20:47:40 EDT, you write:
<<
We didn't start the fire.
>>
YES YOU DID!!!!!! AHAHAHAHHAHA!!! I'm going crazy!
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 5 Jun 1998 22:55:08 -0400
From: aplauri@juno.com
Subject: get a grip!
alright ya'll..... i know im just preaching to the choir when i say
this, but i still sense the need for it to be said. WE ALL NEED TO GROW
UP!! who cares about what the poeple from "the rockford files" say about
"us" .... we are really acting like a bunch of kindnergartner's on this
issue and the solution is really simple. if it has to be the RF people
dont like the MA poeple or visa versa, then just ignore each other. we
are all fans of a great band and for whatever reason you may have, there
is absolutely no excuse for immature behavior and all the hostility
between the two groups. personally, i think that the poeple from the RF
have every right to make there own list and get the poeple they want or
whatever. nobody can deny them this! but what i DONT think is right is
the fact that we "hate" each other..... we are all fans of a WONDERFUL
band, lets all unite as fans and form as one within this amazing
establishment that has come about from Mr. Maynard. cant we all just get
along?
disgruntled--
philip
*p.s- heres a new topic, it will require you to have the demo tape in
order to be a part of it though (sorry for those of you that dont).... SO
HERE GOES:
- -is there acoustic guitar in the demo version of eddie walker..???? i
think so........*
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------------------------------
End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1047
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